Most people who fail for lack of social skills talk of "office politics" doing them in, but the politics may be nothing more than normal interactions among people. If you have trouble with office politics, you may really be having trouble dealing with people.

You may get along on brilliance alone for a while, but most careers involve other people. You can have great academic intelligence and still lack social intelligence---the ability to be a good listener, to be sensitive toward others, to give and take criticism well. People with high social intelligence admit their mistakes, take their share of blame and move on. They know how to build team support.

If people don`t like you, they may help you fail. One day at an airport, a traveler observed a well-dressed businessman yelling at a poster about the porter`s handling of his luggage. The more abusive the businessman became, the calmer the porter seemed. After the businessman left, the traveler complimented the porter on his restraint. "Oh, that`s nothing." he said, smiling, "you know, that man`s going to Miami, but his bags--they`re going to Kalamazoo." Coworkers--even subordinates-- if poorly treated, can do you in.

On the other hand, you can get away with serious mistakes if you are socially intelligent. This is why many mediocre executives survive violent corporate upheavals. Sensitive in their dealing with others, they are well liked; when they make mistakes, their supporters usually help them recover. A mistake may actually further their careers if the boss thinks they handle the situation in a mature and responsible way.

People with poor interpersonal skills have trouble taking criticism. When confronted with a mistake, they let their ego and emotions get in the way. They may deny responsibility and became moody, volatile or angry. They mark themselves as "prickly" and "temperamental".

Social intelligence is an acquired skill. The more you practice, the better you get. Like good manners, it can be learned.